He Wants Sex, She Wants Romance. It's A Fundamental Mismatch

It's the age old dilemma. He wants sex and she wants romance.

It's the "Mens are from Mars and Women are from Venus" thing.

And from my perspective as a non expert in sex and relationships I think it's true.

That's just the way it is. Men love sex. It's said they think about sex at least 3 times every hour. Or more. Maybe that's an exaggeration, but not by much.

And women love love, and romance, and sitting by the fire together, and long walks. That's just the way it is. That's women.

Is this a disaster for relationships? A fundamental mismatch? A problem that so many cannot get over in their relationship? No, I think not.

It would be wonderful if men and women matched perfectly in needs, wants, desires. But they don't. You can see it as a mismatch, but there's nothing you can do about it.

I prefer to see it as an opportunity. That's the way it is and it's not going to change, so why not make something positive from it?

Relationships, in my humble and unqualified view, need lots of different things to make them work. Both the man and the woman need various things from the relationship, including, for both, love and sex. Men lean towards the sex and women lean towards the love.

They both have slightly different needs, and if both try and satisfy that need in their partner then that can create a stronger and more worthwhile relationship. One that gets better with time.

The first thing to do is to identify what needs and wants your partner has from the relationship. And to make sure he understands your needs and wants.

Then to make sure you supply what he needs, and he supplies what you need.

I write about mens gifts. What has any of this to do with mens gifts? It's what I just said, that part of a successful relationship is working things out so that he supplies what you need from the relationship, and you supply what he needs.

And part of the process of satisfying his needs is gifts, from you to him. And from him to you.

I can just about guaranteed that if you found out what he really wants, very high on the list is sex. Good sex.

That's how he is. He's a man.

And of you take the time to accept that and pander to it then that should improve your relationship.

As long as he accepts how you are, and what you want, and panders to that as well. It must be a 2 way thing.

Does that mean that you are providing him with what he wants just to get what you want? You bet it does.

Isn't that blackmail? "If you want good sex, make sure I get what I want?"

Not at all. That's life, and relationships. If both partners are satisfied then the relationship works for both. If both have different needs both sets of need must be met.

You need to talk about it with him. Settle the ground rules.

Ok, so as this site is about mens gifts, this is where the actual mens gift ideas come in.

Specifically sexy gift ideas for him. Because if he wants good sex then some sexy gift ideas from you are in order.

I'm not talking about some sex toy that you wrap in shiny paper and give to him on his birthday, although if that works then fine. I'm talking about the little things you can do to spice up your sex life so that he, and probably you, get more out of it.

There are hundreds of sexy things women can do as small sexy gifts to give their man. Cheap, or better still free, and only limited by your imagination.

Why not greet him when he comes home one night from work wearing a hat?

That's all, just a hat.

It's a simple idea that I can absolutely guarantee will drive him wild. Trust me I know, I'm a man.

There's no limit to what you can think up if you really make the effort. After a while you may find that it's really quite fun, thinking up new ideas. You don't need to do it every day, it becomes routine if you do. Every now and then is fine.

And of course there's also all sorts of [tag-tec]sexy ideas[/tag-tec] for mens gifts that you CAN wrap up in shiny paper and give to him.

Giving him sexy gifts not quite you? Get over it. Give it a try and see what happens, you might just be surprised.

Remember though, he must understand that it's a 2 way thing. Your sexy gifts to him are just half the equation. He's got to come through as well, making sure your needs are met as much as his. Maybe it's flowers when least expected. Or a romantic walk on the beach. Or a night off when you're stressed out from being too busy. Whatever your needs he must understand them and cater to them too, or it doesn't work.

Whatever your needs, you need to let him know what you want, and make sure he knows that if he gets his gifts, you get yours. That's how it works.

Give it a go, and see what it does for your relationship. Let me know, you can use the comments form to tell me how it all worked out for you. Well, I hope.

And why not check out some of the other suggestions I've made for sexy gifts for men?Â

And here's a few more hot mens gifts suggestions: